He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
