You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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