two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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