Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
