I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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