drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
