Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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