hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
