Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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