Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
