Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
