dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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