walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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