My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
