It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
