I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
