Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
How's work?
Spinning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
