If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
