I don't think brook has ever known best
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
