Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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