Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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