I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You are the jesus of drinking
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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