I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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