Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
