I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
