Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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