It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
