My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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