Banned from zoo.
Again?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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