Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
