When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
