White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
