She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
