What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
