She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
