I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
