I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
