I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just pee around me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
