I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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