Soap is not a condiment
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
