this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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