Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Houston, we have a squirter
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
