So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
