My friends, they love my intelligence
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
