Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
