windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
