But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
