thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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