i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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