Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
