you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The air was thick with penises
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
